It's a nice thought, isn't it? Teaching your children that, because they played and had fun, they won. We'd like to believe that participation trophies and not keeping score encourages our children to try more things. Maybe everyone getting a trophy helps to increase self-esteem in those that aren't, shall we say, the most coordinated when it comes to playing sports. Those ideas could very well be true. But - you knew that was coming, didn't you? - is it also teaching them that mediocrity is okay?
The way I see it is we're raising a generation of kids that won't know how "real life" works. They won't have that drive to succeed because they've never lost and never made the determination that they don't want to feel like a loser ever again. There is no need to try to be the best when everyone gets the same accolades regardless of how well or poorly they've played the game. To the child that made the winning home-run, or touchdown, or goal, we're saying 'Your achievement doesn't matter because everyone won.'. To the child that dragged their feet and always seemed to be where the action wasn't, we're saying 'It's okay, you don't have to try to get an award, you're going to get one no matter what anyway.'.
Both of those messages are telling our children that they don't have to try to get anything, because it's just going to be given to them anyway. A lesson which will follow them through life. "Oh, I don't need to study for this test, the teacher always passes everyone anyway."; "I don't need to stay late to finish up this report, the boss is out of the office until next week so I have plenty of time."; "We're already married, I don't need to do anything special for my wife/husband."
Sure, some kids get their feelings hurt if they aren't chosen to play for a team. They get disappointed if they don't win. That's part of life; and we need to teach our children from a young age how to deal with life. If we don't teach them, who will? Their overworked, underpaid teachers at school? Not likely. Their boss or supervisor at work? I doubt it. It's our job and we're slacking off because we want our children to be happy, all the time. That's an unrealistic idea.
Michelangelo said, "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark." By giving participation trophies to our children, we're teaching them to set their aim low instead of aiming high.
Let's stop teaching our children to be mediocre and, instead, teach them to reach for the stars. Teach them that they will definitely fail more than a few times but that's okay, just get up and try again. Eventually they'll get what they want, they just have to work for it instead of having it handed to them.
The way I see it is we're raising a generation of kids that won't know how "real life" works. They won't have that drive to succeed because they've never lost and never made the determination that they don't want to feel like a loser ever again. There is no need to try to be the best when everyone gets the same accolades regardless of how well or poorly they've played the game. To the child that made the winning home-run, or touchdown, or goal, we're saying 'Your achievement doesn't matter because everyone won.'. To the child that dragged their feet and always seemed to be where the action wasn't, we're saying 'It's okay, you don't have to try to get an award, you're going to get one no matter what anyway.'.
Both of those messages are telling our children that they don't have to try to get anything, because it's just going to be given to them anyway. A lesson which will follow them through life. "Oh, I don't need to study for this test, the teacher always passes everyone anyway."; "I don't need to stay late to finish up this report, the boss is out of the office until next week so I have plenty of time."; "We're already married, I don't need to do anything special for my wife/husband."
Sure, some kids get their feelings hurt if they aren't chosen to play for a team. They get disappointed if they don't win. That's part of life; and we need to teach our children from a young age how to deal with life. If we don't teach them, who will? Their overworked, underpaid teachers at school? Not likely. Their boss or supervisor at work? I doubt it. It's our job and we're slacking off because we want our children to be happy, all the time. That's an unrealistic idea.
Michelangelo said, "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark." By giving participation trophies to our children, we're teaching them to set their aim low instead of aiming high.
Let's stop teaching our children to be mediocre and, instead, teach them to reach for the stars. Teach them that they will definitely fail more than a few times but that's okay, just get up and try again. Eventually they'll get what they want, they just have to work for it instead of having it handed to them.